my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
