dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize