Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
