Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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