That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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