hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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