Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
you had me at cake vodka
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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