Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
is it fun? or sober?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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