Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
