im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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