you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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