i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
