Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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