She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I smell like Dick and happiness
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
