Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
