I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
