Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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