I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
