How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
