how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
