a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
