quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
