what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
