K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
lets start a swedish sibling band together
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
