Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just puked most of my soul out..
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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