Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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