The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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