I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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