If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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