Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
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