U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
