I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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