white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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