How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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