so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
