At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
