my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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