piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I enjoy the company of your penis
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
