Don't you send me to vm
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
