I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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