He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
