break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
