Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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