So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
