Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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