You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize