He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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