I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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