what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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