ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
