they need to just BURY HIM!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
