i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
