did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.