Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
