i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.