y did u give ur computer a hand job?
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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