Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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