Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
