I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
