She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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