Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
