I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
