Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
